You know those moments in your practice where you find your body and breath harmonizing, you move with more and more ease, you lose yourself in the flow…even in stillness? When the mind settles into the background, the thoughts and worries and to-do lists pause long enough to give your whole person space to simply be here now? These moments bring me back to my mat, day after day.
As a yoga teacher this inner-flow is palpable. I can sense when folks are present to themselves; when they tend to their own body, mind, heart, and energy. It is an honor to hold space for folks as they step out of their busy lives into the studio and on to their mats. It is a privilege to guide breath and movement, but also to guide them to their own inner wisdom.
As a holistic yoga teacher, I aim to create invitations for students to tend to their full selves, to allow them to nourish the seeds of their own wholeness, to hold a space quietly whispering “ALL of you is welcome here.” This space we create, this space we hold, carries power. And although most often it is simply a felt sense or a quiet knowing, every once in a while a student invites us into the courageous work of sifting through the soil of their psyche, offering us the privilege to witness more.
One such student in our holistic yoga teacher training (HYTT) program this past year, Emily, offered me this gift:
“There was a time, I think, as a young child that I felt whole and unhindered, where I felt connected to myself and at ease in my body. This changed suddenly, it seems, the first time my body was overtaken; when it was forced, disregarded, and hurt. And physical chaos raged in my body, and my mind became filled with chatter that never, ever slowed. I tried, in those early years, to make space for my pain, but my voice was not heard. So I became quiet, and I held my breath. I left my body, detached from my soul, and silenced my inner knowing. And the chaos and the chatter grew and grew until it became utterly intolerable, and I broke.
Five years later at the age of 15, I was diagnosed with anorexia. Food restriction and an obsession with thinness came in as a shield, protecting me from the chaos and the pain I held in my body. The smaller I became and the less I ate, the quieter the chaos would become, overshadowed by overwhelming thoughts of food, weight, calories, and thinness. I was broken and empty.”
We live in a culture –and it seems from ancient texts it has always been this way – where the default is to see ourselves as broken, separate, and in need of saving. A culture where religious systems, educational systems, political systems, medical systems, marketing, advertising, and sometimes even yoga use this “broken and separate” narrative to promote whatever they sell. And then when harm and challenge come into our lives, the body responds by creating more division, more separation from self as a way of self-preservation.
The truth is, WE ARE WHOLE. And I believe whole-heartedly our students need to hear – and to experience – this truth as much as we do as teachers. In the very meaning of the word “yoga,” we find union. I think of it as holistic integration – the whole person, all of our thoughts, words, actions, beliefs, past, present – all together, connected to others, and to the divine. The practice of yoga – including mantra, mudra, asana, meditation, breath, stillness… invites us into unification, within and around. In our wholeness, we maintain the capacity to hold the parts of ourselves we don’t like, the parts that harm us, the parts in need of work and love and honest attention… all while embodying the truth of our wholeness, goodness, and light.
As a holistic yoga teacher, I am anchored in the truth that our whole self – and a student’s whole self – is invited. When on our mats, we don’t need to leave anything behind. As I hold onto my full self in practice, I give permission for others to do the same. And as we, teacher and student alike, become fully present with ALL that is, the inner-work flows. This inner-work is quiet, subtle, and gentle. It needs no words, no problem-solving, no therapist. As the nervous system down-shifts, intuitive wisdom ignites. Roots of stories that bind, limit, and harm us untangle, creating new pathways offering freedom and ease.
For Emily, the space made for her WHOLE self each time she arrived on her mat felt empowering. After practicing yoga in a more fitness-focused arena, experiencing holistic yoga brought a shift: ”I’ve been given safe invitations, again and again, to go inside, to listen. The assurances of safety – a holding of me and my practice when I felt myself “going away” – allowed me to stay. The space is watched, healing touch is offered, permission is given. And the utter reassurances over and over and over again that I hold wisdom, that MY BODY knows what it needs in order to heal, is beginning to take root. My teachers held a light and led me to find the teacher inside of me, inside my body. After hearing it day after day for the past year, I finally embraced the mantra ‘There is nothing to prove, and nothing to hide.’”
Coming alongside Emily, witnessing her courage, her power, her resilience, her fear, her pain, her heart, I am reminded I am not ‘healing’ anyone, but have been gifted with the privilege of witnessing transformation, sensing inner harmony through communal outer flow.
Shelley Pagitt is a teacher at heart. She has been learning, living, and sharing holistic ways for 30 years. Her passion for practicing and teaching yoga with intentions of personal integration are rooted in Child Psychology and love of people. Shelley is the Founder and Curator of Yoga Sanctuary, a holistic, nonprofit studio in Minneapolis. Shelley believes that yoga is a potent tool that, when practiced and shared, can help to rebalance some of the injustices inherent in our collective history. When we are connected to ourselves, our history, our pain, our joy… we can more wholly connect with others.
