You may be familiar with the Sanskrit term “Ahimsa.” If not, no worries, even an advanced yogi needs a reminder or two from time to time. Ahimsa means, “do no harm.” It is the first step within the Yamas and Niyamas which emphasize the importance of living a non-violent way of life. We are challenged to incorporate the principles of courage, balance, and self-love. My following story goes from burnout to breakthrough. I share my light, Ahimsa in sight, with the hope you will see your light too.
Finding Courage.
Time for myself? Boundaries? Definitely not part of my genetic makeup! Up until the spring of 2021 I thought of myself as invincible. Various roles as an operating room nurse, yoga instructor, writer, fixer, people-pleaser, and athlete set the stage for an inevitable collision with burn out. To be honest, if you asked friends or loved ones when they noticed the warning signals, they might have replied, “Several years earlier.” All of this – despite education, titles, and life achievements – took me 40 years to realize that by not prioritizing my energy and creating a self-care plan I would slowly lose sight of myself.
Finding the courage to accept my reality required more guts than any other endeavor. Admittedly, I first thought, “This is going to be easy. All I have to do when feeling tired and worn down is simply slow down and rest.” If only it were that simple? Why did I, like so many of us, wait until my mind, body, and spirit broke down before taking positive action? Under the guise of selflessness, I thought I didn’t deserve to rest. Once I found the courage to take an honest look in the mirror, I discovered that in order to give energy, I needed the energy to give.
Creating Balance.
Creating balance may start by recognizing what our current flames look and feel like. In my story, I began to notice moving my body no longer brought me joy. In fact, the opposite occurred where I felt less energetic and less happy. My mental health leaned towards anxiety, inability to focus, or forgetfulness, and as a nurse working through the pandemic in a high stress position, this felt extremely scary. As a human being simply trying to make it through the day, I also began to ask myself, “Am I really only here to survive, pay bills, and die?”
The courage to live differently supports our motivation to create real space and change in our lives. Although we may feel powerless to our responsibilities, we can seek power in the choices we make that provide opportunities to give back to ourselves. When I took the time to listen to my inner guide and double check my work schedule, it led me to seek out professional help. I built boundaries with my energy, became more grounded in my ability to fulfill my needs, and reduced my workload to match current energy levels. You may find what works for me might not work for you, and that’s completely normal. If there’s anything you choose to remember about balance: Ahimsa itself is not a state or destination we can copy and paste from person to person. It is a free-flowing conversation between you and every moment you choose to check in, listen, and change.
Cultivating Self-Love.
The principle of Ahimsa teaches us to love ourselves. This includes all of us and not just the pretty productive parts feeding our ego at night. Like finding courage and creating balance, the act of self-love takes lots of practice. The heart brings energy to our daily choices and our sustainable light leads us towards optimal living. That being said, it is also possibly one of the most difficult things to do in life. Without a solid foundation to operate from, it can even be easy to blame ourselves or others for where we are and how we got there. By choosing to show our mind, body, and spirit how we want to feel, we choose love instead. We also do this by congratulating ourselves each time we prioritize our needs. What you might not know is this process will be HARD. Do it anyway. The people-pleaser and fixer in me still struggles with this concept, but I slowly found the more love (aka better life choices) I put back into myself, the sooner I am capable of breaking through my level of exhaustion. Hopefully by the end of this story, you find yourself worthy of your love and energy too.
As a pediatric operating room nurse, author, yoga instructor, and owner of MNyoga LLC, Marie offers individual or group trauma-informed yoga and meditation classes to healthcare providers, first responders and military members. She also provides in-service sessions to professional departments looking to address accumulated secondary trauma. In addition to helping her fellow frontline workers, Marie also teaches to the general public. Her everyday intention is to support each participant’s exploration in embodied choice, movement, and breath in a safe nonjudgmental space. You can learn more about her at www.mnyoga.org.
