Late fall and early winter in the Midwest can be bleak with chilly, damp weather, diminished daylight hours, and gray, dreary skies. Holiday festivities seem like a great idea! Let’s hang some twinkling lights, light some candles, spread good cheer, and sing beautiful songs to brighten the mood. Easier said than done? Maybe, especially if we’re grieving.
Grief and memories of grief can carry a weight that is hard to put down, especially during the fall and winter holidays. Annual cycles bring poignant reminders of the way things used to be and the losses we’ve endured. When keenly aware of the heaviness of life, how can we create space for lightness? How can we experience the sukha – the sweetness and happiness of life? And how can yoga help us do that?
Start where you are.
Every yoga practice begins right where we are. We might begin a meditation practice or physical yoga practice by dropping into our breath and witnessing the sensations in our own body. A seated, standing, or reclined meditation posture could be good choices; I prefer a supported reclined position. This posture (pictured) is close to the ground; the earth literally has my back. When life feels heavy, lay the burden down, or as choreographer Abraham Remy Charlip said, “When in doubt, get horizontal.”
Practice satya.
Toxic positivity is rampant in our current cultural climate, but yoga is not a “good vibes only” practice. If our current reality does indeed feel heavy, denying it holds no benefit. Rather, practice satya – or truthfulness, knowing the truth really does set us free.
Be the witness.
As you sit, stand, or recline, bring your awareness to the sensations of your breath. Take time to notice what you feel – not holding still but being still. Feel the parts of your body harboring heavy emotions. Take time to compassionately notice where in your body those emotions reside. You might rest one or both of your hands on that place in your body, using your breath to bring comfort and release.
While your predominant experience may currently be one of sadness, lethargy, or heaviness, notice if sensations of lightness and contentment might also be present. Where do those sensations reside? Sensations of heaviness and lightness, sadness and joy coexist side by side in our bodies. Whatever you feel, create space for it and listen to it. Every cell of our body contains the experiences of our life journey and the wisdom gained from those experiences. Listen to your own innate wisdom.
Abide in the benefits of your practice.
The innate wisdom and goodness of our own being can and will guide our navigation of these holidays as well as our healing and transformation. We can take our yoga practice with us by giving ourselves permission to make choices. We can anticipate and plan ahead for holidays and milestone moments and choose how we will honor them. We are free to choose to do things completely differently than we’ve ever done before, and differently than anyone in our family or circle of friends is choosing to do. We are free to be kind to ourselves, practicing authentic self-compassion and self-care. And we are free to choose what yoga practices will be part of our self-care plan.
Find the sukha.
Sprinkling seeds of joy and sweetness into our own lives and into the lives of others allows us to experience the sukha – the good space, sweetness, or happiness of life. In this good space, we access our memory of the Divine Self. If we do not or cannot experience sukha, we might fall into the pit of believing that the Divine Self is not present. But the good news? Even in the midst of grief, transition, and loss, this sukha is available. Twinkle lights, candles, and beautiful songs, anyone?
Moya McGinn Mathews, E-RYT 500, YACEP ®, is the author of “Honoring Loss, Growing through Grief: Yoga for Personal Transformation and Resilience in Times of Transition and Loss,” published by Inner Peace Press. She is a professional musician, minister, officiant, grief group facilitator, wellness coach, yoga teacher, author, spouse, mom, and nana. Contact Moya through her website, www.moyamcginnmathews.com to learn more about Yoga for Grief, Transition, and Loss.
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