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Creating Harmony to Heal Your Drama Triangle

by Jack Utermoehl (he/him)

Amy Zellmer by Amy Zellmer
May 15, 2024
in Health + Wellness
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May 15, 2024
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In today’s fast-paced world, many of us get caught in a challenging cycle called the Drama Triangle. This cycle involves three roles: Victim, Rescuer, and Persecutor. These roles can become habits, stressing us out and making it hard to grow personally and in our relationships. In the midst of all this, yoga stands out. It’s not just about physical exercise; it’s a way to change and improve our lives, helping us move beyond these unhelpful patterns to a more peaceful way of living.

The Drama Triangle, explained by Dr. Stephen Karpman, consists of three main roles. The Victim feels unfairly treated and often thinks, “Why does this always happen to me?” The Rescuer feels the need to solve others’ problems, saying, “Let me help you with that.” The Persecutor blames others, stating, “This is your fault.” We can easily find ourselves in these roles, like feeling overwhelmed at work (Victim), jumping in to help a coworker without being asked (Rescuer), or blaming others when things go wrong (Persecutor). Realizing we’re in these roles is the first step to getting out of them.

The Drama Triangle is like doing a yoga pose incorrectly—it can cause emotional imbalance and stress, moving us away from who we really are and from forming real connections with others. In yoga, doing poses the right way is important for a safe and good practice. In life, the key to our happiness and true relationships involves noticing and fixing these imbalances.

Yoga offers a complete way to find balance and peace. The asanas (physical postures) make us stronger and more aware in the moment. Pranayama (breath control) helps calm our minds and balance our energy. Together, these practices do more than make us flexible—they help us deal with life’s ups and downs gracefully. Yoga becomes more than exercises—it’s a way of life leading us away from the Drama Triangle to inner peace.

Getting out of the Drama Triangle is like discovering a hidden strength inside us. It’s the exciting moment when we realize we don’t need to be stuck in these roles. We can find our own power and wisdom. This change isn’t just about avoiding problems; it’s about realizing our true potential and celebrating the strength inside each of us.

Breaking free from the Drama Triangle begins with self-awareness. When you notice yourself slipping into the roles of a Victim, Rescuer, or Persecutor, the first step is to pause. In this pause, take a few deep breaths. This simple act of mindfulness brings you back to the present moment and provides an opportunity to step out of these limiting roles.

Beyond this, integrating yoga into your daily life can be incredibly transformative. Regular practice of grounding poses like tadasana (mountain pose) fosters a sense of stability and centeredness. This helps in feeling more anchored and less affected by life’s dramas.

Another powerful tool is the practice of pranayama, particularly nadi shodhana (alternate nostril breathing). A great way to calm the mind and reduce stress, this breathing technique encourages clearer thinking, helping you to make decisions that aren’t driven by the reactive patterns of the Drama Triangle.

Additionally, incorporating mindfulness into your everyday activities enhances this effect. Whether you’re eating, walking, or engaging in conversation, being fully present in the moment can prevent you from unconsciously falling into these unhelpful roles. Remember, consistent yoga practice is essential. It’s not just about the physical poses; it’s about creating a space for self-reflection and connection, allowing you to recognize and change unbeneficial patterns, thereby leading a more balanced and fulfilling life.

Yoga is more than just what happens on the mat. It guides us to a life of balance, understanding, and deep change. It offers the key to unlocking our inner strength, helping us rise above challenges and the limits of the Drama Triangle. It’s a journey for all of us, promising peace, clarity, and strength. As we go through life, let’s remember the powerful tools at our disposal and bravely follow the path to our truest selves.

Jack Utermoehl, an E-RYT 200 certified yoga teacher and founder of Asivana Yoga & Bhakti House Yoga Studio, embraced yoga through Vinyasa, Bhakti, and Yoga Sutras in 2015. His company, Asivana, produces cork yoga mats and sustainable yoga products. Jack’s heartfelt teachings aid yogis on their journey. His approach — a blend of love, connection, and adventure – mirrors his dedication to yoga and entrepreneurship.

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